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360voice Staff
USA
6467 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 14 2008 : 10:11:03 AM
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Normally Dog of Thunder reviews a budget title from his collection once a week, but this was an interesting week with an interesting title. Read on to hear from the only guy dumb enough to buy The Last Remnant
UPDATE! As of 12/16 The Last Remnant is now available used from Gamestop for $35! It shall hit bargin bin status very soon!
As my header seems to imply, and as you would know if you were watching my blog (hint, hint), I made a spur of the moment decision last week to pick up The Last Remnant. Having the 30% off at Gamestop on used games spurred me on, so for a grand total of $36, The Last Remnant was mine. Now, since I'm the guy that's currently plowing through Dead or Alive Extreme 2, Dynasty Warriors 6 *and* Warriors Orochi, all at the same time, my taste in gaming leans towards the crappy and soul sucking. As it turns out, my decision to grab this game was indeed guided by the divine hand of Jabootu.
The Last Remnant is indeed, crap.
I'll break it down for you like Warren G:
GRAPHICS
Why start here? Simple, it's made by SqaureEnix. Not simply published by them like Infinite Undiscovery was, nope, this one was made by the Square team using the Unreal engine. I know when I've played Gears of War I find myself thinking "Wow, this engine would make for an awesome RPG." It doesn't. Magazine reviews have mentioned the slow down, the pop up, even an appearance by N64 style jagged edges. If you can't render hair properly, then please, just make your characters bald. Nothing (see my DoAX2 diary) annoys me quite like seeing hair go through a character's shoulder during a pivotal scene.
The characters do have some cool designs to them, like the Kermit the Frog like Quistis race or the four armed slovani, or even the...I'll say it outright....[wang] headed bruiser race whose name escapes at the moment but their heads look like limp male reproductive organs. Too bad everyone looks horrible once the game actually, ya know, moves.
Plot
After taking a few of my reviews off, I'm pleased to announce the return of the SLEDGEHAMMER OF PLOT. Who needs to be subtle and use allusions or innuendo? Not SquareEnix. Such things are beneath them and their "Pay attention or you'll miss it" take on environmentalism and consumerism. See, Remnants are these mysterious artifacts that cover the world like friggin' M&M's. Seriously, I'm shocked a character doesn't go to the bathroom come out and say "Hey look! Another Remnant!"
Anyways, some Remnants are little video recorders, another is a BFG, a really crazy flying contraption that holds riders in by hugging them, and well, you get the point. From what I've gleaned so far, about 15 hours in, is that some people want to use the Remnants to do bad things and they kidnapped your sister, whom has some sort of power over Remnants or something, they haven't actually shown us that, so for now, she's just a McGuffin.
As the older brother of McGuffin, you're an idiot. Seriously, scene 1 (So not a spoiler) has you wandering across two armies about to duke it out, you're reaction? "I wonder what's going on."
TWO ARMIES ARE ABOUT TO KICK THE CRAP OUT OF EACH OTHER!! THAT'S WHAT'S GOING ON YOU IDIOT! AND NO! THAT CHICK LOOKS NOTHING LIKE YOUR SISTER SO YEAH, RUNNING INTO THE MIDDLE OF TWO ARMIES IS REALLY SMART YOU DUMB SACK OF [Gamespot].
Oh it gets worse. Let's just say this game is not an RPG to play for the plot. I could rant on this all day.
GAMEPLAY
This is the meat of the game, as well it should be, unless you're playing a Metal Gear game (Zing!). The Last Remnant's battle system focus on large scale conflict which is really cool but of course, they dropped the ball. How so you ask?
You have very little control. Don't bother planning much tactically beyond making sure you do the flanking and don't get flanked yourself. Once your Union (term for a group of characters, you can have 5 Unions, with 5 characters in each) is "deadlocked", that's the condition where you and an enemy union are stuck fighting each other until one is dead, you can choose from about 4 or 5 commands. "Attack with weapons", "Attack with combat arts","Attack with mystic arts(magic)" or "Attack and keep your HP up." Every battle command is some variation on those, with super special attacks appearing every now and then. That's about it for control really, which takes a while to get used to, but I'll be honest: I kinda like the system. It's kooky and very Saga Frontierish.
Much like SaGa Frontier, you level up randomly as well. Use regular attacks, your STR goes up. Take damage? HP goes up. Et cetra.
After battle, you get items that you can use to customize pieces of equipment, which is a time sink but one that pays off BIG TIME. This is where I'll be spending the bulk of my play time, customizing and doing the optional guild quests. Why?
ACHIEVEMENTS
Every single achievement, beyond the "Defeat X enemies", "Get into 100 battles", and "Spend 100,000 Gil" has to do with the optional guild quests. Yup, you get ZERO points for the main storyline. Welcome to hell achievement whores.
Because of that god awful achievement list, which I nominated on http://www.xbox360achievements.org/ as the "Hardest RPG for 2008", The Last Remnant has earned a spot on my gamercard right next to Dead or Alive Extreme 2 and Dynasty Warriors 6 as "Games that seriously, only a real idiot would attempt to complete."
If you just want to play a fun RPG with an offbeat battle system and don't care about achievements? Try Tales of Vesperia, which I'll be getting to after the New Year.
The Last Remnant is crap and after the New Year will indeed be available for a budget price, much like its brethren, Infinite Undiscovery. |
Edited by - Dog of Thunder on Dec 18 2008 5:58:22 PM |
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Cormyre
 121,425
Zone: Recreation
Total games played:
398
Current Streak: 0
Longest Streak: 349
Moderator
USA
7766 Posts |
Posted - Dec 14 2008 : 10:34:29 AM
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| I didn't see that coming... Infinite Undiscovery? I could call that one since it was from Tri-Ace (Star Ocean)... but being from Squenix directly? I expected greatness! Maybe our only hope really is Mistwalker... but then again I've never gotten around to getting back to Blue Dragon or playing Lost Odyssee |
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360voice Staff
USA
6672 Posts |
Posted - Dec 14 2008 : 11:55:29 AM
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Is that why the game is already discounted everywhere?
Square Enix is the EA of RPGs. |
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Cormyre
121,425
Zone: Recreation
Total games played:
398
Current Streak: 0
Longest Streak: 349
Moderator
USA
7766 Posts |
Posted - Dec 14 2008 : 12:00:15 PM
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| it's funny... Activision Blizzard has become the general EA, Squenix the EA of RPGS... what about EA? They're now the good guys willing to take chances and put out decent games =P |
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Tandar1
211,770
Zone: Recreation
Total games played:
547
Current Streak: 1
Longest Streak: 697
Member of the Moment Guy
USA
5341 Posts |
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Advanced Gamer
USA
4711 Posts |
Posted - Dec 18 2008 : 7:01:31 PM
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| Wow, the game sounds so stupid. What a lame storyline and N64 type graphics? WTF? waste ol money. |
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Mitsuho
9,815
Zone: Recreation
Total games played:
57
Current Streak: 0
Longest Streak: 25
Senior Gamer
694 Posts |
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Dog's Dumpster Diving Review: The Last Remnant
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