| Author |
 Topic  |
|
360voice Staff
USA
6467 Posts |
 Posted - May 10 2009 : 3:00:54 PM
|
Every so often, Dog of Thunder reviews a budget title from his collection, but alas, sometimes, he makes an exception and reviews a truly horrible piece of crap that is infecting his gamercard like one of A-Rod's butt pimples.
You're Still Reading Dog's Dumpster Diving Review
Mortal Kombat Vs. DC Universe
or
Inferior Products Unite!
I don't know where to begin. Frankly, I'm speechless.
I mean, usually when I hate a game, it's very easy to sit down and just let my venom pour out. But with this game? I just can't...I can feel the venom building in my glands like a rattlesnake but it's stuck. I just can't espouse my sheer hatred for this game...but I guess in order for you to understand my problem, we have to go back...back to where it all began...
The Secret Origin Of Dog Of Thunder!
Back in the early 90's, when the future superhero Dog of Thunder was a mere Pup of Heavy Flatulence, there was a place called Bonker's. Bonker's was a Chuck'E'Cheese establishment without the stupid mouse, pizza, one of those huge plastic tubing playground areas, one of those amusement park rides that goes really fast forward, then backward yet was always broken. What Bonker's had that made it special back then, was the holy triumvirate of Street Fighter 2 Championship Edition, Virtua Fighter and Mortal Kombat 2. For a 9ish/10ish year old, this was awesome.
We all loved Street Fighter, this was before it hit the home consoles remember, and even seeing a sonic boom caused a moment of wonder. One guy could even do the Spinning Piledriver with Zangief! Mortal Kombat 2 though, was special. Nothing screamed dominance like pulling off a Fatality on someone. That was the playground equivalent of dog's mounting each other.
That summer, I had one of my greatest gaming moments, thanks to Mortal Kombat for SNES. At a friend's birthday party, we were fighting over playing Clay Fighter or MK. He wanted MK, I wanted Clay Fighter, since frankly, a bunch of us were sick of Mortal Kombat (same moves for every character, bland characters, etc.) I used Johnny Cage, he used Sub Zero. I then went and had the greatest match of my life. I owned him. To cap off my victory, I pulled out...A FATALITY! This caused the throng of 10 year olds to go crazy and I was crowned "teh ****z" at fighting games.
10 years later...
Marvel vs. Capcom 2 for PS2. I had a copy (since sold for just over $200) and loved it. Awesome fighter. Same year? Grabbed Capcom vs. SNK 2. Also an amazing fighter. The "vs" concept was clearly a winner.
6 years later from the 10 years later
Mortal Kombat vs. DC arrives in the mail from Gamefly. I plan on hitting it up for a higher TA ratio and a boost towards my Fighting Badge. In the time from my GREATEST VIDEO GAME MOMENT EVER to today, I clearly forgot just how much I HATE Mortal Kombat.
Venom restored, Dog now faces his greatest enemy to date, can he overcome the impossible odds laid before him?
Why do I HATE Mortal Kombat? COMPLETE lack of characterization. Sub Zero, Sonya, Kano, Jax...everyone has the same basic moves. This is on purpose since Ed Boon believed it was better for everyone to be similar so that any player can pick up any character. Street Fighter 2 has characters that play very differently. Chun-Li and Blanka? Ryu and E. Honda?
The only thing Mortal Kombat has going for it, are the Fatalities. And even then, if you're outside the target audience of 10-12 year olds, those get annoying real quick. Yeah it's fun to bust out online and show dominance over someone, but they get old very quickly and you'll just smack someone once instead of watching the same things over and over.
Hold onto your seats True Believer! A New Challenger Has Appeared!
DC Comics. Why? Seriously, did someone at Acclaim just go "People love Marvel vs. Capcom! Let's try the same thing, but with DC!" This is the soda equivalent of RC Cola and Dr. Thunder joining forces.
When done right, the DC Universe is great (Kingdom Come~!, Morrison's run on JLA (featuring Dog's favorite comic panel EVER!) and some of the characters are really interesting, so the line up chosen for this game? Really can't complain. Here's the standouts that some of you may not know:
Deathstroke: Sure, he broke out in the Teen Titans cartoon (or Identity Crisis for you fellow comic dorks.) Deathstroke (real name: Slade Wilson), is a mercenary that uses a gun and a sword along with his minor regeneration factor and a brain that operates 100x human peak efficiency. Waitaminute...SLADE WILSON...MERCENARY....GUN AND SWORD....sounds familiar...
Captain Marvel: He had his own cartoon back in the day. You may know him as SHAZAM~! He's actually a mortal kid that when he says the magic word SHAZAM~! becomes a hero with a strength level on par with Superman (well, since Kingdom Come anyways). Captain Marvel is powered by magic, flies, super strong...and umm...he flies...he's super strong...really a regular kid in his de-powered form...reminds me of someone else...
Prime anyone? A blatant Captain Marvel rip off? Anyone? Bueller?
Lex Luthor: Yes, in the comics he really does have a super suit exo-skeleton. Let's just move on.
Green Lantern: The game uses the Hal Jordan version. Be warned, the audio for him is HORRIBLE. His voice work is the worst I have heard in a long time. He makes the stuff done in X-Blades appear to be high quality. I'll hold off on a Hal Jordan rant, since if I start mentioning Zero Hour and the Spectre, I'll leave everyone confused.
Dog has landed some blows to his hated foe, but now MKvsDC pulls out the most dreaded weapon of DOOM: The SLEDGEHAMMER OF PLOT! How can our hero survive?
Story mode sucks. But arcade mode is where the real travesty lies. For endings, we get ONE PICTURE with some voicework over it detailing what happens. That's it. Dead or Alive 4, a game 3 years old now, had amazing CGI clips, and you're telling me that with a roster the same size, we get early 90's fighting game endings!? BAH!!
I will give some credit. Shang Tsung's ending? Includes a harem of Kitana and Sonya. Atta boy. Batman's ending? OMAC. Vice Destroyer just got excited. Green Lantern's ending? Sinestro Corps!
Everyone else's endings? They suck.
Our hero has deftly countered THE SLEDGEHAMMER OF PLOT and he has one last, desperate move to win this struggle...if only he...could work...the....controls...
Ever break a controller before? I hadn't, not til I tried the stupid "Kombo Challenges" snapped the left joystick right off of my wired controller. The degree of precision required for combos and fatalities is simply impossible with the 360 controller. I have never played a fighter with controls worse then this, and I've played Weaponlord. I can't even get the stupid Finisher achievement because my old, arthritic hands can't pull off 6 of the fatalities. These controls will drive you INSANE!
The audio work is very middle of the road stuff. Except for Green Lantern, the voices are good, the music isn't memorable (No MOOORRTTAAALL KOOMMBBAATTT!!! theme here), but it isn't really grating either. Same with the graphics. Not the worst, not the best. Just totally...bland. You need to see Sonya in action though, speaking as a guy that's played WAY TOO MUCH of Dead or Alive Extreme 2, she has some massive jugglies. And it's always cold out.
I think I've savaged this game enough, since really, everyone says the game is trash, and it is. A certain GiantBomb editor seemed to like it, but ignore him. He hated Kane&Lynch. Just stay far away from this game, play Soul Calibur 4 or one of the wrestling games for your Fighting Badge. I guess there's just one thing to finish up my epic duel with Mortal Kombat vs. DC:
FINISH HIM!
|
|
Davem3 TF
 79,371
Zone: Underground
Total games played:
Current Streak: 0
Longest Streak: 780
Moderator
USA
3582 Posts |
Posted - May 10 2009 : 4:25:29 PM
|
awesome review as always , and funny as hell.
i remember when the "fatality" move was revered and ohhhhhhhhh'ed to death..
now it is just "meh" |
 
How To Keep Your Streak| Swearing Policy | 360 Voice F.A.Q.'s| Signature Size Policy
"I am just going to pretend you didn't make this thread. :)" --Change Agent
Ubisoft = the new replacement for Sominex - the cure for Insomnia - MetallicaGhost
GS before joining 360V.... 2660!
|
 |
|
Chrome30
197,388
Zone: Recreation
Total games played:
Current Streak: 0
Longest Streak: 590
Events Team
USA
2921 Posts |
Posted - May 10 2009 : 5:44:00 PM
|
| You didn't add in the review that Chrome30 told you it wasn't going to be easy =) good review DoT. |
|
|
|
360voice Staff
USA
6672 Posts |
Posted - May 10 2009 : 7:29:24 PM
|
| Awesome review yet again. |
 |
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
|
|
Dog's Dumpster Diving Ranting Review: MKvsDC
Copyright © 2006-2013 GamerDNA Media. All Rights Reserved.
LIVE GAMER, the Live Gamer logo, GAMERDNA, and the gamerDNA logo are registered or unregistered trademarks of Live Gamer, Inc. and its subsidiary, gamerDNA Media,
in the United States and/or other countries. Xbox, Xbox Live, and all other Xbox Live specific terms are registered trademarks of Microsoft Corp.
Other trademarks are the property of their respective owners.
