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360voice Staff
USA
6443 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 07 2009 : 1:11:33 PM
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Every once in a blue moon, Dog of Thunder goes through his card and decides to foist his opinion on you with regards to a budget title ($20 or less from Gamestop) that he has wasted some of his finite time here on Earth playing.
Dog's Dumpster Diving Review
Virtua Fighter 5
or
The only game I'll review that's in the Smithsonian
....no really, it's in the Smithsonian....
If you're like me, then sometimes you're forced to listen to your wife talk about these "advice columns" she reads in magazines or online. Generally she's amused by some of these problems that people write in with, and some times she's amused by the answers. Like the woman saying that her relatives tried to give her an exorcism, so now she's nervous about seeing them for Thanksgiving. (The advice was, "exorcise them from your life.")
The point is, that advice columns really do a great job in presenting information in a simple, accessible manner. That's why a few weeks ago, I asked for readers to send in their questions and I'd answer them*. Amazingly, all the questions were about Virtua Fighter 5, so let's hit that mailbag!
Dear Dog of Thunder,
I just don't understand the draw to Virtua Fighter. I have this snooty friend that insists he's a real fighting game fan because he says Virtua Fighter is the best series. I say that Mortal Kombat is the best series. What am I missing that makes him think Virtua Fighter is the best? Should I still be friends with anyone that says Mortal Kombat is a horrible waste of computer code?
From,
F4t4l1ty4L1fe
Dear F4t4l1ty4L1fe,
First off, thanks for writing in, I hope you've enjoyed the reviews. Secondly, Mortal Kombat sucks. Lastly, your friend is simply aware of the rich tradition of the Virtua Fighter series. Since you still like Mortal Kombat, I'm assuming your a squeaky voice Gears of War 2 kill-stealer that only uses the friggin' chainsaw. That means you weren't around in 1993, like I was, when Virtua Fighter burst onto the arcade scene.
Back then, it was the first 3D fighter. Sure, the polygons were the size of a Buick, but believe me, as a 10 year old, I thought it was great. It was the crown jewel of Sega at the time, developed in conjunction with a little company called Lockheed Martin. Yeah, the aerospace guys. The game had 8 fighters and zero fireballs. At the time, a "realistic" fighter was revolutionary.
Virtua Fighter 2 came out a year later, and THIS was the version that set the tournament world ablaze. Real men were those that knew how to pull off Akira's "Stun Punch of Doom" and not those that knew "Dismemberment #7" in Mortal Kombat 3, or could master "Ryu clone #4's" ultimate move. Being steeped in real styles, without truly fanciful moves, Virtua Fighter 2 was a watershed moment for the fighter genre. Without the success of this game, there would be no Tekken, no Dead or Alive, and most importantly of all, no Def Jam Icon.
So the point here, is that your friend understands that if you're a fan of a game that really is, a realistic depiction of fighting styles, such as Lucha Libre or Shaolin Kung-Fu, you have the right to be arrogant and look down on others that like "fireballs" and "impossibly busty Japanese chicks with throwing fans." That's just an excuse for me to run this picture:
Dear Dog of Thunder,
When I played Soul Calibur 4, I was incapable of making decisions on what mode to play. Street Fighter 4 has different modes, Dead or Alive 4 even has 4 modes of play! That's too many choices! Is there a game I can play where I have, say, 2 choices?
From,
Indecisiveness in Indiana
Dear Indecisive,
First off, yes, men CAN wear Spanks. Secondly, if you don't like choices in fighting games, I suggest Virtua Fighter 5. You have "arcade" mode, a dojo practice mode, customary online play and then Quest mode. don't be intimated, Quest mode and arcade mode play the same way, just like the online mode. In Quest mode, you have to go from arcade to arcade, fighting and beating every single AI character. There's a lot of them, I'll say two thousand. Sure, you get items and emblems, but you earn those by beating people up. Not even in different ways, no survival or time attack here, just straight up, two men enter, one man leaves gameplay.
Dear Dog of Thunder,
I started playing Garou: Mark of the Wolves after my friends told me how awesome it was. I hate it. The graphics are horrible! I need to play a fighting game with good graphics, and not like that stupid animated crap in Street Fighter 4, I don't like artistic flair and style in my videogames.
From,
I hate everything not made in the last 5 years
Dear Dumb arse noob,
May I suggest Virtua Fighter 5? It accomplishes the rare feat of having incredibly detailed graphics, especially in HD, but yet lacking real flair or a distinctive style. The basic outfits do, and some of the alternate outfits (Pai in particular, Rawr) but some of the variations you'll come across during Quest mode are horrible. It's amazing that a game can be gorgeous, with excellent animation, and yet be totally devoid of a soul. But you know what's gorgeous and isn't just a hollow shell? Blatant excuse #2 for those keeping score:
Dear Dog of Thunder,
I hate listening to rocking soundtracks, like the one in Street Fighter 4, while playing a fighting game. Even Soul Calibur 4's music was sometimes a little too, epic and awesome for me. Who wants to fight it out to Duel of the Fates or the Halo theme? Not me. I want to have the obnoxious commentary of Jim Ross, or John Madden in my fighting game!
From,
Someone with Stupid Opinions
Dear Stupid Opinions,
Boy are you in luck! Virtua Fighter 5 has the option for commentary during the matches! At first, it's cool, and then after a while, you'll think it's the commentators from Dodgeball and ESPN 8 (THE OCHO!) and then it gets annoying again. Enjoy the assualt on your eardrums as they are raped over and over again!
Dear Dog of Thunder,
I love achievements. Can Virtua Fighter 5 quickly please me in ways no woman can by making a number get larger?
From,
Tiffany in Toledo
Dear Tiffany,
90% of the points from Virtua Fighter 5 come from the Quest mode. It will take you forever, but beyond the time investment, it's pretty easy. The AI isn't as good as that in Dead or Alive 4 and will not adjust to your patterns. The controls are spot on, so it's not really frustrating or anything, it's just...time consuming and boring...especially since you CAN NOT switch characters in Quest mode. Pick one, and stick with them!
Ultimately, that's how to best think of Virtua Fighter 5. Unless you want to invest the time to really, really master a character, the game is just...drab and dull. I pick it up from time to time, but it gets boring again, so back on the shelf it goes. The game just has no real flair or style to it, but it embraces that lack of style like a badge of honor. Some people will dig it, some won't. It's really a matter of taste.
Unlike Mortal Kombat. Which sucks.
Know what else sucks? Mai Shiranui being left out of King of Fighters XII. That sucks. I mean really, just look at her: (Blatant excuse #3!)
*This is a blatant lie, I just thought it would make for a good review style.
**In 1998, the series was recognized by the Smithsonian Institution for contributions in the field of Art and Entertainment, and became a part of the Smithsonian Institution's Permanent Research Collection on Information Technology Innovation. The arcade cabinets are currently kept at the Smithsonian's National Museum of American History.
***There was no footnote for ** or ***, I just want to see if your paying attention.
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Davem3 TF
 79,371
Zone: Underground
Total games played:
Current Streak: 0
Longest Streak: 780
Moderator
USA
3582 Posts |
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Cormyre
121,380
Zone: Recreation
Total games played:
397
Current Streak: 0
Longest Streak: 349
Moderator
USA
7766 Posts |
Posted - Jul 08 2009 : 06:49:06 AM
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its sad we need a reason to show mai... and really I didn't realize it was so hard to find SFW images of her =P until I just looked... seems like the girl spawned a whole legion of cosplay on her own!
hah, great job, I've been debating on this game... think I'll be dodging it as it sounds just a tad more fun than Phantasy Star Universe... and that game almost made me hang up my controller for good =P |
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Dog's Dumpster Diving Review: Virtua Fighter 5
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